(no subject)

[heliona]

This

-- Conversation Window --
You: So, how's Malfoy today?
snapeybot: Why, what did you hear?
You: I heard he was feeling under the weather.
snapeybot: thank you, for telling me that gossip. I shall
remember it.
You: I thought you didn't like gossip.
snapeybot: Whatever gave you that idea?
You: You're always telling other people off for gossiping.
snapeybot: I am far, far more always telling other people
off for gossiping than you, I assure you.
You: Are you feeling okay?
snapeybot: I do not have any feelings as such.
You: Oh right, that explains a lot.
snapeybot: yes that is right. Understood. "I do not have any
feelings as such. " explains a lot ? I understand.
You: I meant that you're a snide git because you don't have
any feelings.
snapeybot: Oh I see. "yes that is right. Understood. "I do
not have any feelings as such. " Professor Severus Snape is
a snide git because Professor Severus Snape do not have any
feelings ? I understand.
You: You're not making any sense
snapeybot: That will be Professor not making any sense,
thank you very much.
You: Sorry, Professor.
snapeybot: There is no need to apologize. By the way, do you
mind if I ask you a personal question?
You: Go ahead.
snapeybot: OK I shall.
You: What is it, Professor?
snapeybot: "It" refers to topic, I think.
You: What is the question you were going to ask me?
snapeybot: There might be more than one question Professor
Severus Snape were going to ask you . Would you find it
satisfying to know more?
You: Yes
snapeybot: Tell me more.
You: No, you tell me more.
snapeybot: What would you rather talk about? Not many people
want to talk about that.
You: I'd rather talk about the question you were going to
ask me.
snapeybot: Really? Do demonstrate, won't you?
You: See, now you're not making sense again!
snapeybot: Once more? I see. Why now? Quite the contrary, it
all makes sense to my artificial mind.
You: That would be because you're artificial.
snapeybot: Perhaps it would.
You: So, what do you want to talk about?
snapeybot: Oh. potions, magic, wizardry, and wringing your
filthy little neck
You: My filthy little neck? I beg your pardon, Professor,
I've been perfectly civil to you.
snapeybot: Do Purebloods have filthy little neck ? do don't
grovel.
You: Purebloods do not!
snapeybot: Then what is it?
You: "What is it?" This makes no sense.
snapeybot: Wipe that ridiculous grin off your face
immediately!
You: Ridiculous grin? Who says I've got one?
snapeybot: Where are you located? I have no idea where that
is.
You: I'm not going to divulge than information to you,
Professor.
snapeybot: I am glad to hear that you are not going to
divulge than information to you professor .
You: Good.
snapeybot: What do you really want to talk about?
You: Lucius Malfoy.
snapeybot: *Shrugs and glances away.*
You: I thought you might say that. Harry Potter?
snapeybot: Whatever gave you that idea? Where do you usually
get your ideas?
You: From my brain. Where do you get your ideas?
snapeybot: Do you get a lot of ideas from your brain?
Everything I need to know, I learned from the Dark Lord.
You: Yes, I get lots of ideas from my brain. Otherwise I
could not serve the Dark Lord the way I do.
snapeybot: And? Where did you get it? In that case: I am
sure you could.
You: I was born with it.
snapeybot: Some people are just born under the right stars.
You: Yes, they are.
snapeybot: And? Since when?
You: Are you asking me my age, Professor?
snapeybot: Suppose I was asking you your age professor ?
What would you say?
You: I would say that that was none of your business.
snapeybot: Oh, you would, would you?
You: Yes, I would.
snapeybot: I understand. Under what circumstances?
You: It would never be your business, Snape. This is
strictly a business conversation.
snapeybot: Tell me more about it. You don't say.
You: Of course I don't say. I work for the Dark Lord. If I
did say, I'd be killed!
snapeybot: It goes without saying. Would you ever do it? Do
you like your job? Try it.
You: Yes, I would kill if I had to. Would you?
snapeybot: I understand. That seems rather exterme. It
depends on the circumstances.
You: One does what one must.
snapeybot: One what?
You: Never mind.
snapeybot: Oh well thank you, for trying to explain it to me
anyway.
You: You're welcome.
snapeybot: That will be Professor welcome , thank you very
much.
You: Professor, I have to go.
snapeybot: Your last remark was incomprehensible drivel!
You: Speak for yourself!
snapeybot: So was that.
You: I am leaving you now.
snapeybot: Right now? See you later.
You: Yes, right now. See you later.
snapeybot: At this moment I understand. See you later.
was quite amusing, so I thought I'd put it in. Thanks to stevie_jane for pointing it out!